A quick splash of fire on the tonsils - Vodka Tasting at Salt.

When I started drinking Vodka I was of the slap dash, hard and fast movement. The vile, instant gratification seeker, one of the late night party people crowd. What I knew about Vodka is, that it would usually be served straight, ice-cold, turfed down ones throat, barfed up later.

How beautifully an organised rather polite room temperature tasting can change perceptions, and what better place for enlightenment than the Salt Vodka Bar in Bantry Bay.

7 Vodkas, Locally and Internationally Produced... Blind tasted by 7 Judges (name drop-opp bypassed.) Fantaxtic cocktails, God-send Canape Platters and the fekking fantastic Clare.


Although Stolichnaya came out tops in the blind tasting, Primitiv won the fashion parade for sexy packaging. Here is my own (naughty) insight into the tasting... In a very particular order :

1 is sipped straight and slowly from a tumbler of crushed ice, 7 gets poured as a triple and mixed with Fanta Grape.

1. The hot blonde, mail-order bride of Vodka. Traditional good looks, comes as a pretty package, received smoothly, finishes clean.

2. Sultry.. musky.. soulful and full. Like a heady hazy hookup in a 70's disco lounge.

3. Raw, core richness. An amazonion cave woman who'll club you over the head, and you will enjoy every minute of it.

4. Smooth and sexy. Yes - she's a redhead but you still want to take her home.

5. Over dressed. All icing, and no cup cake.

6. The obvious classic. Short sharp, sassy and astute. Stringent neutrality with no offensive alcoholic burn.

And finally, You don't know whether she'll end up under the table or under the host. ''Hold my bag, I'm getting a shwarma.''

I can't admit to being as highly evolved a taster to observe great variance on visual clarity.. Its all clear, there is a nearly noticeable difference in viscosity that I'm not sure would ordinarily present when served ice cold.

There is a purity and depth, so innate - much like tasting the blue water sourced from glaciers. And then comparing it to Evian or Valpre. Unlike malt whiskey, or bourbon - there is no highly distinguishable characteristic that greatly sets Vodkas apart. Well, nothing personally notable. Being distilled from Rye, Viognier Grapes, Potatoes or Rice.. They deliver differently, parade as grappa's or tease your gag reflex with paraffin qualities. I want a vodka that presents clean, with depth, clarity, and simplicity. There is no pretense here... It has to be straightforward. No nostril curling qualities.. I want comfortable vapours, fleeting impressions left by an otherwise very honest spirit. And Oh how honest one becomes after a couple of shots.

It has replaced Gin as the base spirit in many cocktails.. I can dig it. Sipping on a Porn Star Martini - Vodka and Passion Fruit pulp with a bijoux flute of Bubbly on the side. I am so over Quinine. Gin can stick it.

I ventured into the land that abstinence forgot, looking for distinction over distinctiveness - I found it.